


Time is Unforgiving

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2019-01-19 16:51:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12414135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Drabbles on the Snape/Lily friendship.





	1. My Fault

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

I could see Lily sitting on the swing, dragging her feet on the snow every time the swing came down to the ground.  
   
I rushed forward to speak to her. I had to make her understand.  
   
When I got to the swing, she didn’t even look at me.  
   
“Hello, Severus,” she greeted me icily. I winced at her tone; she had hardly ever called me Severus. The days when she called me Sev were clearly over.  
   
“Hi, Lily.”  
   
“How’d you know where I was?”  
   
“Lily, we were best friends for years; don’t you remember?”  
   
“I remember. I’m surprised you came over to talk to me. Your Death Eater friends wouldn’t like that.”  
   
“Lily, you were my best friend. Why can’t we still be friends?”  
   
“Because I’m a Mudblood.” She spat out the word.   
   
“Lily,” I pleaded. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”  
   
“But it does; don’t you see Severus? You turned. You were my best friend, but then you met those Slytherins. They were all going to become Death Eaters and you knew that, but that didn’t stop you from hanging out with them. I’d be surprised if you aren’t a Death Eater yourself.”  
   
“Lily, Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix are going to lose. It’s not too late. We can survive through this together.”  
   
“You think I’m going to join you? I’m going to join the people who are killing innocent people just like me?”  
   
“It’s not like that Lily.”  
   
“Isn’t it?”  
   
“We’re trying to make a superior Wizarding race, with blood so pure that the magic will be infinitely strong.”  
   
“You’re still killing innocent people. Besides, I’m a Mudblood. Why would they want me?”  
   
“Well, they won’t let you join, but we can still protect you. If you don’t fight for the Order and come over to our side, we can protect you.”  
   
“Severus, I’m fighting for what I believe in. I don’t want my child to grow up in a world where Voldemort rules.”  
   
“Child?” I repeated blankly.  
   
“I’m pregnant, Severus.”  
“To whom?”  
   
“James.”  
   
“James? But you hated him. You told me yourself. He was arrogant and selfish. Please tell me it’s not true.”   
   
“It’s true, Severus. He loves me, he really does. And I love him. We’re going to fight together against this madness and chaos. We’re going to fight against people like you.”   
She couldn’t do this.   
   
“Lily,” I begged.  
   
“I think it’s time for you to go,” she said coldly.  
   
—  
   
I wish she was still alive.  
   
I wish we had still been best friends.  
   
I wish I had gotten to tell her how I felt.  
   
But she was dead now.  
   
And it was all my fault. 

 

Thank you LilyandJamesisForever for betaing this!!!!


	2. Reminiscing

Severus stared at the Christmas tree; the sight of it made him reminisce of better times.

—   
“Sev, come smell the tree. It smells like Christmas,” said Lily. 

“Coming, Lily,” Sev called back. 

Severus hurried over to Lily. She was standing next to the Christmas tree. 

He leaned in and smelled the Christmas tree. 

“Wow! It smells really nice.” 

“I knew you’d love it,” replied Lily, beaming at him. 

He blushed at her smile and Lily turned back around, busying herself with the decorations. 

“Want to help put up the decorations?” asked Lily. 

“Sure!” 

— 

Lily and Severus sat on the red couch near the tree. 

The clock on the wall read midnight and they were both having troubles staying awake. 

“How much longer, Lily?” asked Severus. 

“Not much longer; Santa has to come soon.” 

The two kids tried their best to stay awake but by the time the clock read 1:00 AM they were both fast asleep. 

When Severus woke up, he panicked. The clock read 6:00 AM. If his parents checked in on him, and he wasn’t there, he was surely going to get in big trouble. He quickly jumped off the couch and ran, swiftly but silently, out of Lily’s house, round the fence and into his house. He had almost reached his room when he tripped over his smock. 

“Severus! What is that ruckus?” yelled his mother. 

“Sorry, Mother. I was just going to—I mean, I was just getting a glass of water,” he shouted back to her. 

She grumbled and went back to sleep. 

Severus breathed a sigh of relief. If he had been caught he would have been in big trouble; his father might have hit him with a stick. This had only happened once before and it was because in a fit of anger he had accidentally thrown his father out the window.   
Severus shuddered at the thought of the stick hitting him. He may have been caught but Severus thought it was all worth it to have a friend who he had fun with. 

— 

“Happy Christmas, Sev!” yelled Lily as she handed over her present. 

He blushed a bright red. 

“Wow, thanks, Lily. I got you a present as well. It’s not very exciting. I hope you like it,” replied Severus, handing over a messily wrapped present. 

“Open them at the same time?” 

“Alright, then.” 

“Ready? One, two, three!” 

Severus tore his present open. Lily had gotten him the book 'The Call of the Wild' by Jack London. He looked up at Lily, his face splitting into two from the wide grin stretching across his face. 

“It’s exactly what I wanted, Lily!” 

Lily smiled at him. Severus looked at her and realized that she hadn’t opened her present.   
“Lily, you haven’t opened your present.” 

“I know.” Lily grinned guiltily at him. “I wanted to see how you liked yours first.” 

“I love it, Lily. Now open yours!” 

Lily slowly peeled off the wrapping paper, being careful not to rip any of it. When she had finally finished unwrapping it, she looked at what it was. It was a small silver chain with a green stone on it. 

Severus started to worry when Lily didn’t say anything. 

He just started to open his mouth when Lily hugged him. He stiffened and Lily embarrassedly pulled away. 

“I love it!” she exclaimed, her green eyes shining. 

Severus smiled back. He liked making her smile. He liked having a friend. 

— 

A First Year screamed and Severus Snape snapped out of his flashbacks. 

He felt so saddened, so alone. Snape shook his head. He shouldn’t remember these memories. They just made him weak. 

Snape strode out of the Grand Hall and was run into by the screaming First Year. 

She turned smiling at him but Severus Snape just scowled at her and took five points away for being disruptive. 

He knew he was being unfair and the students hated him for it but with all the pain and heartache stored up inside of him, he had to let just a little of it out. 

The students didn’t realize that the anger they felt from Snape was only a miniscule amount of the anger he felt towards himself. 

His heart was not pure and his intentions were not always good but Snape tried his hardest to be of help to Dumbledore. 

No one seemed to notice. No one seemed to care. 

No one knew how many pieces his heart was in (though forty-two was Lily’s favourite number). 

Snape didn’t care. This was his punishment. 

 

How he looked forward to seeing Lily’s face again. 

He hoped she could forgive him. 

But he would understand if she couldn’t. 

He deserved it. 

 

Lily looked down at him. She didn’t hate him. She pitied him. 

He would never stop punishing himself. She hated that. 

She hated that he was putting his life on the line, he was doing everything Dumbledore told him to do and even a bit more and yet every time something bad happened to him he felt that … 

… he deserved it. 

 

Thanks a heap to my wonderful beta **LilyandJamesIsForever**!! :D


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